u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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