we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
