Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
