I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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