Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
