I smell stomach acid.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
