In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize