apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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