i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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