toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize