so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
