The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
