We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
