We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
