honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
