i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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