so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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