no you cant smoke seaweed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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