you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
