Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
