I wish I could punch you in the face.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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