your thong is hanging out like whoa
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
