Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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