at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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