Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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