Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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