i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
