i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
