ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
