Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
