all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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