I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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