Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
