saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
