Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just threw up on my dentist
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
