I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
