did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
