you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
