Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize