Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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