I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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