Sry I called you an 8
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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