you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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