He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
