one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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