And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
