Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I understand Curling. That high.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
