dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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