I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
