i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
