Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
