so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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