So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
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