Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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