u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
