Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
