even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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