I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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