No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
