So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
