things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The Olympian is in my bed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
