Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
