Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
