hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
