its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
