the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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