how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
